NOT THE FIRST LOVE

Outdoor rain still poured down, the lightning flashed across sharp monotone on an array darken the sky, do hidden remnants of ancient trees are strong buckling struggles between thunderstorms.

NOT THE FIRST LOVE

Heavy rain. Outage. Antique clock hanging on the wall right quiet clearly was not much point now, just know is already very late, just that she was sitting so long, just to know that display tray on the middle of the round table from which now cooled off. Perhaps she has forgotten one thing - he from today will no longer return to her side every night anymore. The emptiness suddenly also makes you realize that this is apparently the first time he did not come for two years he married her ...

***

NOT THE FIRST LOVE

Before you marry me, she had people injured, as a mate she grew up - a love which she has for the profound. But his house is poor, her family did not even abundance. So her parents arranged for her to meet him - a man who looks mature successful but how modern girls want to.

Then, you simply think will go see him once to temporarily assuage the urging of parents determined. But the individual who knows of her apathy accidentally leave an imprint in his difficult blurred since the first meeting. He once said, maybe he likes you by a sense of calm to quiet calm that he himself was cryptic. It's just that every time I see or beside you, you feel like new no communication between the constant pressure of work.

A long time acquaintance, she still thought of him as a friend, as surely he could just be your forever. Simply, because of her other love devoted to one person. She did not like him, even discomfort whenever he met. He somewhat rigid and somewhat arbitrary. He will suddenly come and drag her to find somewhere that did not need to ask you want to go or not. He will call the people to themselves according to their own and change a certain detail in her home and did not need to know if you like. He would bluntly tell her boyfriend in front of two people that are dating. He would calmly answer when she expressed her refusal: "Just I like you and you like me to neglect is enough."

Just as a relationship still plenty intermittent way, but she began to feel claustrophobic, I felt like I could be turned into his possession. Born in families where the father is somewhat paternalistic, long ago, she was scared of this feeling. She told herself will never get such men. Yet, where people do not always possible to decide the fate of himself. The push of the mother is sick and needy family circumstances forced her to take him as a way to repay. Abandoning your beloved, his sister to wear a life drift vaguely familiar ...

She took him, no longer dare to dream sweet intentions have dreamed. She still comply with the duties of a wife should be, only that she could not love me. As for him, he said he would wait until that day - the day she loved him, so what is also never exceed the limit.

Their life goes by seems very peaceful, but always still something empty and cold. And until you know the drama that has created an unwanted marriage. It turns out that all was arranged, then the family, she did not have to embrace debt, so that her mother would not have had any serious illness, it is only because he wanted to get someone who does not love her which deceived her, but she turned into an object can arbitrarily control. She'd hitched a true sense of his wife, but somehow to suddenly know this story makes her heart as a crack appeared, very painful, very humiliating. And just so you hate him.

She had stared him and coldly declared: "We are divorced."

He always insisted that "no."

"I can not live with him anymore, I do not love you."

"I'm certain will love him, but even without love, he insisted would never agree to a divorce."

Just like that, she lived increasingly indifferent, for fear of losing her brother but also more and more authoritarian, the distance between two people interpret it to gradually pull out of a confusing relationship.

***

One year, did not know of each person changes how. She was quietly living as someone else's life, still waking up early every morning to prepare for work for him, then arrange housing, then every night to sit in front of him waiting tan tray do return ... Just is, it is probably just come from duty, because they can also unwittingly become a habit. As for me, I still prefer to do things according to their own, often overly concerned sister, often bearing little control selfish wants and decide many things instead of her, even though it looked over almost all the good work Most, but not what makes you comfortable.

Yet no one can deny it - I love you, and always waiting for love from her. That she may be seen, also can understand that. He always towards her with a loving gaze but earnest. He always wants to do what he thinks is best for her. He also never let her have dinner alone. Although work has nowhere chaos, he still tries to arrange to return to her side, just wanted to wait until one day, she loved him.

He may be somewhat arbitrary in many ways, but always respectful of her feelings, so never do too limited than is the side you want to hold onto. There is an evening you get drunk, go home mad kiss her, then pinned her on the bed with the intention to possess. But seeing her unceasing tears flowed, he suddenly reverie that frantically apologized. He was afraid she would be mad to leave him. He then tries to carefully and restraint, telling myself will continue to wait ...

Another year like this passed, the distance of two people probably so that automatically pull closer. He tried to not ever coming home drunk, try to only eat cooked wife, trying to pay attention to her thoughts, to what she wanted more than she should. And you, to prepare and care for him every day for a long time became a habit, become instincts of a wife.

He was keeping the distance should be between two people. Only when the pressure or fatigue, he would go home and hug her tightly. Every night, while asleep drunk, she seems to be able to sense a familiar eyes are quietly watching her, an attentive hand retreading familiar blanket and then gently stroked her face . Not clear when she was like that sink into a warm feeling very quiet and idyllic ...

She was thinking, anyway everything was not able to return, it was time she should accept live with me forever, it was time she should become a wife literally. Two years of marriage, though she did not clarify her feelings well have changed how, but perhaps exactly as you said - he just loves her, and she just did not feel uncomfortable whenever side image. But this time, he decided to give up the wait ...

***

This morning, I was up early as usual, but he seemed to wake up from a long time. He was dressing to go to work neatly standing in the living room is just like waiting for her next step.

"I ... do not eat breakfast the stars?"

She asked with surprise tinged face. He did not answer, just looked at her with eyes as if hesitated and seemed to have to think very long something. Then after a while he spoke:

"Living with him really makes me uncomfortable stars?"

This question of his suddenly made her more and more part surprised, because it was really confusing. She lives so uncomfortable? If the former, maybe she will not hesitate to respond "right." But now, many things seem to have other, life after two years can make things change very much. What you're thinking is, why he suddenly asked her that?

He take his eyes off her, looking slightly bowed forward, back slowly said:

"I was thinking just you love me, then just a little more time is enough. But yesterday saw your smile to be with him, he knew maybe I was wrong."

He thought he was wrong. Yes, perhaps at the beginning was a mistake. He should understand the love that can not be arranged or forced. That time would not be making her love him. He could wait two years or more, but it seems he forgot to feel at the sister. Try for two years, but he can not make you smile just once as she bumped into old people there. ... He really was too selfish!

"Sorry for unruly forces her back with her for so long. Maybe now the time for him to drop the bag. We ... divorce go ..."

We ... divorce go ...

This statement caused a mess in her head suddenly awakened, she eventually understood that he wanted to say anything. She looked at him bewildered, looked big suitcase in hand.

"You need to go on a business trip abroad, a year and a half, it's good for you can truly let go are you. After you left, the procedure will go to divorce. He left me house This house should not have to move out. I ... go to the people you really love, heard ... he is still alone ... "

"Not him..."

There's so she could speak every question, he looked at his watch, then grabbed his suitcase, preparing to take steps toward the main door:

"It's late, you should go now or they will miss the flight. I was ... happy well ..."

His last words bring little something sardonic tone that taciturn. Then you can share that glance she hurriedly walked. Moment she did not specify what he was thinking, just know that she stood so that he watched the ball back gradually disappeared ...

***

God today do not know since when pouring rain, rain kept pouring lasted until night. She was sitting quietly in a corner of the room dark and empty as ever. The thunder and the wind howling bangs make you scared withdrawn. She had told him she feared the dark, afraid of thunder, fear of feeling like the lone alone this time. Yet he managed to put her right at a time when she most needed a warm embrace. Two years, the first in a dinner she did not wait for him to return, the first time she realized this house lacks the shadow of the cold and he feared so much, the first time she really know, then she takes him out so ...

Thunderclap suddenly roared and lightning flashed across her heart as well according to a rhythm which narrowed sharply. She shivered sunk down on the floor, eyes still staring at the door ajar consecutive wind was pushing to make up an array of sound between the sound echoing adhered massive torrential thunderstorm. Until ... the door was actually open, a tall, familiar figure ... He entered the sodden body, looks like being rushed seeking a slim silhouette.

She could not see anything else, just know that rushed to embrace the familiar silhouette of the other, feel from him a warm feeling that peace familiar. This time, she really cried. At this point, you really have to understand, I do not want to leave you, I ... really did love me.

"You're here, you will not leave me, right?"

"I miss you each say they fear most is to be alone at night thunderstorm, he would make me worry thunder scared. But not, perhaps because he really can not be let go ..."

Needless to say one more thing, they just hugged each other as such, despite the storm, even for the rear door keeps on bumping. Two years together enough so that they see each other, understand each other, enough for them to remember the taste of each other. A love even without the starting point can also find a way to get started in the aisle of a path to happiness ...