WINDS OF ETERNITY

 WINDS OF ETERNITY
"What is a fateful love?"

"As you will be permanently unable to answer: Why do you love me, why you love me, why we love each other? Maybe simply two people if met would love, if love is going to bear in lifetime heart throughout life ... "

***

Time for me to meet and love he only lasted three months, but they will often be short. Yet, the very people have made me cruel life can also okay to forget.
 WINDS OF ETERNITY

I met him four years ago, when he himself was a sophomore in the first day transfer to schools in the city that I used X is quiet for this. It was a late night gentle and quiet down. Through a train the day tired, I pull heavy suitcase leaning against the railing of the lakeside inns, enjoying the cool night breeze. According breeze swept away the distance, I saw the silhouette of a guy - he sat in the most brilliant light beam path, but the whole body seems to have sunk into deep darkness. Maybe ... right from the first moment that my heart was inadvertently caught up in the solitary silhouette and then ...

Do not know how, suddenly my legs slowly just along the lakeshore progresses toward the other, do not know since when, he suddenly was no longer in that position. I raised my head, new actually remembered about the night sky, stork I must continue to carry the luggage back to the dorm. But ... just turned around, behind me is the guy carrying a strange solitary, he stretched out in front of me a phone and a wallet containing money extremely familiar. Subconsciously, I feverishly searched her handbag over her shoulder - something that indeed something is gone.

He really nonchalant voice, said something something somewhat confusing but I think it is like not for yourself:

"It's for you, take it. If you did not take care of yourself for yourself, why even go out at this time right? The people ... please respect the rights of their lives away."

Then you just glance so I walked away, before even leaving a few smiles sourly heard. I grabbed my suitcase, dragged him running after him. Not that I could say anything, he turned to head back:

"I had no good thing, so no need to thank, do not follow me."

"But ... I also go in that direction."

He heard it, the format slightly blunted my look, then smirked pale smile:

"Well ... University Chengyang, the more a person mad rush to."

"Yes! I am a new student, he also studied in there?"

He did not answer, just quietly walked away, but toward the right as the other schools Chengyang.

"Anyway ... still have to thank you!" - Take the rear for a while, I decided to speak up. He stopped, but not because she heard the saying, but because of our sight now.

Before it was a shop selling birds, boss has thrown a small bird on the road, it seems it has been injured. Somehow he immediately lunged collar penetrating the shop owner that:

"He was crazy, huh? No and alive, why dispose of it? The life worth discarded so what?"

Whom the ancient portable boss startled, mouth stammered:

"That bird is sick, sooner or later die, looked so lifeless it will affect the guest's attention to the other birds ..."

"Sick ... Sort die ..." - He smiled faintly heard it again, repeat the words slowly loose hands.

I then came to pick up the poor bird, put it between his palms:

"Whether they are sick, they can not dispose of it like that. It's still hope alive, but eventually die of it? Not could live at least another few days back? What can survive days What good is to live for the day ... "

After saying this, I saw him looking at her eyes, seems to be something deep sea depths like an immense attraction.

My hands still bunched improve weak little bird, his eyes looked toward his suitcase. I felt his eyes and put under my gaze there. He pulled the bag towards the luggage, then wordlessly ample walking, I also quietly follow steps.

More of a quiet stretch ... he suddenly exclaimed:

"Why save it?"

"It should be appreciated that - look, it is trying to fight for his life. When it was not abandoned, no one has the right to deprive her of her life - though only a few days last month hard!"

"..."

We finally reached the front gate of Ocean City University, the school wide results as I still think about, is that at night but seems to have a certain angle noisy.

I looked at the little bird on his hand, slightly disturbed:

"I just moved next day, did not know where his room, unable to carry it ..."

"Bring out the backyard come, follow me ..."

I followed him through a series of major progress, step off a long hallway, through large yard to a corner of the garden soil with lightly fragrant flowers of a stranger. Where there is a small room. He turned on the ball with power hand as already very familiar with this place, in substandard room with the flexibility of the glass fixtures, exactly as the picture and drawing ragged Sprawl.

He pulled from the corner of a small box placed on the table, to fabric and then looked at me, I immediately understood the carefully place the bird on it. Maybe it was tired and his eyes half closed stock pulled sleep.

I am looking at wristwatch - nearly 10 hours, still have to find another room.

"She would visit it?" - He asked in a voice that I could feel somewhere bit expected.

"Of course!" - I said goodbye before his stocky, way back in the past, seemed to me then forgot to ask something.

The next day it is busy doing all kinds of procedures, but I still remember that look at small birds visit. Besides the water and food boxes, but he was not there, the next day I still regularly, but often do not see him.

But just like any other student in this school, every day it's hard to not see Lin Yongfeng - famous because he always liked noisy quarrel like a gorgeous winds, a rushing attack. People look at them shows Yongfeng irresponsibility itself. At that time I gave that rich dude lack of interest from such families, because they did not have to worry about anything for his life. But why sometimes I see him as a lonely man sitting leaning against the wall, hands graciously holding a frail little bird?

***

I really met Lin Yongfeng after a week, when he himself was accidentally turned into toys for a game called "betting" that has become familiar to him and the part that you can learn. Simply, I always tried to keep his previously quiet, no associate or to ignore the taunt other profligate joking type should be considered the "new girls always pretended innocence, bar artificially high. " They play betting view may ultimately "overcome the present" was assigned to me how long, see how long I eventually will be seduced and give kisses easily. I really feel lonely and alone ... But I - Lam Vinh Phong has pulled me out of space to dyspnea stifling it. He said he knew I was not the kind of person easy, he said I was the girl that I really cherish. Arrogant people like him even for me but bear a slap because of breaking the law in front of so many people ...

From that day I met him many, often in the silences. Living among a stuffy place with eyes full of cynicism and ironic smile, where the human tongue sharp as the blade easily bleeding, where capital does not exist the word "trust" or "friendship "I can only find a little peace about his time flying in the wind whispered the other. That's when I found the backyard quietly care for poor little bird, or each night you walk in the shadows wandering on straight roads.

But like being amidst a maze that surrounded the dim humming sound, I really was tired, really did fall, especially when my roommate's capital for relatives set deception and slander - to recognize the friendship that I will always cherish the cheap and contemptible to the world. And ... is he again put an arm on my side ...

He appeared in my time the most frail and alone, and somehow his voice when he has something very fragile:

"She ... looked so weak and stupid, how can exist here are you?"

I saw his eye corners little hot, then suddenly a tear uncontrolled but falling just unconsciously. I do not know why really makes you cry, is thought to who "friend" the other, thinking of his warm memories during that time or the focus was now seen to be suffering alone explain difficult depths eyes are toward one's nothingness?

"She cried what?"

I do not want to cry, does not want her weakness, but the tears back tandem so flush more.

"Please do not cry in front of me ..."

In the glare was making vague tears, I see him slightly furrowed brow, subtle strokes suffering increasingly bold, something tormented struggle.

"Told not to cry, she wept ... I ... can do okay?"

Thus, he with his arms around me in the heart - warm hug that I can feel. Thereafter, every time he opens his arms to hug me, always seemed a bit puzzled hesitation.

***

Since that day, I often see a solitary Lin Yongfeng sat quietly in the wind, a Lin Yongfeng caring for a wounded bird. He said I helped him understand "man alive should be someday meaningful lives that day." Yet at that time I was foolish not to understand.

Other small birds were healthy and now looks more viable, we were very happy that we forget one thing - it is case-the infection that the other shop owners said that "sooner or later die."

Until one morning, I went to a warehouse like habit, caught him standing silently laughing unfocused birds die hard look in the box. His gaze now looks vaguely like that obscure the immense darkness.

"Probably the last time he'd forgotten something ..."

He had always said that such cryptic phrases, like this time. Then he turned to my amazement:

"He is dead, eventually they will die, so from now on you do not need to go to this place again."

This saying of you mean? Does he want me to leave him? But I, and perhaps you also know that I can not.

"I ... now can not leave this place again ..."

"Why? It which never good at all." - His eyes looked at me, I really want to ask why it is always painful on offer such torment?

And ... on that question of him ... I actually know the answer ...

"So, I got used to the warmth of this place already. I ... really did love you lost it!"

Saying this, I think that he is facing to the outside of the window, not even looking at me. I am proceeding to warm kiss on his lip. Do not know what made him so miserable, but just know that now I can not let go anymore.

When my lips to leave, he suddenly clutching my head, holding the kiss was forever engraved in me to take later.

Very long ... he hugged me tightly, pressed his chin on my shoulder like a hold on it and it will disappear afraid to let go.

"Let me be selfish one day, just one day!"

That day became the happiest day, as well as the most memorable of my life - the day that our hands intertwined everywhere go to - day I saw him really smile.

But ... all in one day- just one day for forever.

From the next day I did not see him, he did not go to school, nor duplicate contacts.

In three days like that ...

Arrive on Thursday, I suddenly knew he was going to Italy believes, will leave, will leave me - and tomorrow's departure. In that moment my head out the big question: "Why did not you tell me?"

That night I went to the lakeside path, he indeed here. Still floating hair in windy as I've seen in one meeting.

"Why not say anything to you?"

I asked him questions, but the answer received is:

"Between us which did not have anything."

And then he walked quickly, quickly re-shadowed behind big walls - It's the last time I saw him, the last time in the rest of his life.

He previously told me stupid. Yes, I was indeed too stupid - so stupid as to have more than a year later on I realized that he had cheated on her. During a year that stupid that I did hate him, tried to forget him. Stupid to even look close to inculcate the last moment to see him that evening. Stupid as to not know that, because you love me that he had to suffer and how tormented, because you love me but you even have to close your eyes on the road in a strange place, alone bear the date The last pain of terminal illness.

Lin Yongfeng ... is the most ruthless man in the world, also Zhao I was most stupid man in the world ...

***

More than one year after the day he suddenly left, then of course I never forget him, rather, never forget a bit about his memories. That day, a doctor, as well as his friends and then ended up having to look into my heart a stone cold, very cold ... making it numb and tingles ...

"He died a year ago because of blood cancer ..."

...

"Feng told me not to tell her anything, but his eyes before departure kept her torment me forever. While most pain, she knew he was saying? He is quiet Perhaps on deathbed endured the pain of abuse, vague eyes looked aimlessly up white ceiling, the husky voice told me:

"God, I cheated on her, but to leave, that's great sin is not it? Is it when the sky will therefore chastise next life I can not see her again, too ..."

...

Hear the words of pain to scratching this heart, my tears flowed so, forever falling ... falling into a white screen to star can not erase ...

I finally can understand, just as it was too late:

Why after I said I loved him, he suddenly turned to face the other - probably to hide pain.

Why in very deep kiss, I get the feeling something salty tastes - perhaps the taste of tears from his rare.

Why then he hugged me so tightly that breathing difficulty - perhaps because it is the last hug attachment.

Why that night he again rushed back to this step - perhaps ... there when he had buckled down when shadowed by a tall wall after the other ...

...

Until now -After four years, which may be very long, very long, I will always carry with me a question: "If I love him a little more, if at that time I did not want which runs under his heart, is so far I would not torment whenever I think about the shadow of his last moments? ... "

...

The other doctor when approached also brought me a painting, the painting bearing his heart buried in the last days, a picture of a girl standing peace in the fading light of the night, indulge mellow drift breath of breeze ...

...